Some couples make a mistake of giving up on their relationship easily only to get rid of the problems immediately. They do not realize that ending a partnership is not always tantamount to ending troubles. More often than not, things become more complicated after separation. Why turn to break up when there are ways to still make everything work? Why separate the bond when all you have to do is to learn how to fix a relationship?
Before going through the phase of securing your relationship, it is better to start with these:
Ask yourself these questions before deciding to separate with your spouse or lover:
- Is there a valid reason for me to let go?
- Am I not mature enough to reconsider? Are we not grown-ups to patch things up?
- Is it really the end for the both of us? Is there nothing else we can do?
- Is our relationship not worth fighting for? Have we tried enough?
- How will I live tomorrow and the next days of my life without the one I love? Will I be happy and peaceful?
- Is my partner too bad a person that I should let go of everything that we have?
By looking for honest answer to these questions, you are giving yourself sufficient time to think things over. You will go through the process of check and balance, which at the end will enable you to appreciate the relationship again. It may also be better if you can ask your partner to do the same reevaluation.
May be you are looking for these questions: “Who is really at fault? Is it me? Is it him (or her) or is it the both of us?” You have to understand, knowing who is at fault is not important anymore if you want to know how to fix a relationship. Forgiving and forgetting are the keys.
II. Reasons to Survive the Challenges
To give you more reasons to reassess your partnership, think about the benefits of staying together:
- Thinking of ways on how to fix a relationship is better than splitting up because you still love each other. You do not want to live all by yourself when you know you need him (or her) with you.
- You very well know that what you and your partner have are not all about fights and misunderstandings. You also share good memories that are worth fighting for.
- The emotions that you both have invested are worth saving for.
- No relationship is perfect. Any couple will go through the same struggles. You and your other half should take these as challenges that you should survive together.
- Learning how to fix a relationship will give you and your partner a second chance to make things better for the both of you. You should think about strategies to keep the love burning instead of looking forward to living a new life with a new mate.
- You love to grow old with him (or her).
- If you are married, you sure know that your kids deserve a happy and bonded family.
III. Tips on How to Fix a Relationship
After performing the re-evaluation and knowing the benefits of sticking to the union, it is time to learn the strategies on how to fix a relationship. Consider these:
1. Communicate with your partner.
Communication is the best tool for any misunderstanding or serious fight. Express your willingness to listen and to talk. Convey your message honestly. Avoid pointing your finger to anyone or you will only ruin the moment. Both of you will go back to having heated discussion. After you, let your partner talk. Listen not only from your ears but also from your heart. If you need to speak up at some points, ask first if you can say your piece. If he (or she) agrees, you may do so. But then again, prevent yourself from talking too long. End the discussion by hugging or kissing.
2. Learn how to forgive.
Okay, your mate is at fault. Do not point that to his (or her) face every time. You have to bear in mind that nobody is perfect. Even you commit mistakes from time to time. Just say how hurt you are. Raise your point. If you want to find answers to your questions (surely, there are), it is better to ask for answers so you can finally achieve a peaceful mind. At the end, offer your forgiveness. It is not easy to do but if you want to teach yourself how to fix a relationship, just do so. As days pass, you will learn to completely forget. Do not forget to point out that you are doing this to keep your relationship. Hence, he (or she) will think of doing the same.
3. Do not expect too much on your mate.
Some couples fail on their relationships due to high expectations. They are not happy with the way their mates choose to live their lives. This goes the same with you. You are not satisfied with the nature of the work of your spouse (or boy/girlfriend). You always complain about that. You always insist for a change of career. If not work, you choose almost everything for him (or her)—what to wear, which company and which positions to apply for and many others. You always make him (or her) realize that you know better.
This is not good. You are stepping on the ego. If you really want your mate to hear your point, you can tell him (or her) without hurting his (or her) self-esteem. You have to remember that he (or she) is just human.
4. Teach yourself how to compromise.
It is not every day that you should be the one to make important decisions at home. Remember that you have a partner that you also have to hear out. He (or she) may see things that you have accidentally ignored. What you do is to always compromise. Tell him (or her) what you want to happen but do not forget to ask his (or her) side and come up with compromised choice.
Knowing how to fix a relationship is the best thing to do than breaking up. You will know if your union is still worth saving. You will also prevent yourself from wasting the emotions you have invested. More importantly, you will be able to keep your partner with you for life.